References Volume 1

Even before my last, far too lengthy entry about the no-longer-undefeated Rutgers Scarlet Knights football team, I had begun an entry about a pervasive theme in my life: references. After a few weeks of jotting down ideas, I now have enough to swing a cat. So, for all of our sakes, I will explore the role of references in my life in an episodic manner reminiscent of Dickens (although he was getting paid by the word) or Tarantino (although he must have been getting paid by the ounce of blood.)

Since I moved to Brooklyn I've been meeting a lot of new people and getting a chance to hang out with some old friends who I haven't seen in a while. One thing I've noticed is that when I speak to almost all of my oldest and closest friends, we speak in a language specific to our friendship. It is a language riddled with references to past conversations, events, arguments, and movies we've seen together. Of the people who I meet, the ones who stick, tend to be the ones who manage to build a shared referential language in the shortest amount of time. Sometimes it only takes a single conversation!

Here are just a few of the most common movie references that have entered my vernacular and they're suggested uses, enjoy:

After realizing that I've just explained something that really didn't need the elucidation, "That's more or less the thing."

To excuse inexcusably predictable behavior, "Don't give me a gun, you know what I'mon do." and "What happened? They put me in a room with Joey Zazza. What do you think happened? I bit the guy's ear off."

After I put my foot in my mouth, "Street slang is an increasingly accepted form of expression. Most of the feminine pronouns to contain mocking, but not necessarily with misogynistic undertones."

To express disagreement, "I do not think that means what you think it means."

Or confusion, "I can only express puzzlement, bordering on alarm."

Impatience is actually expressed most clearly through quoting, not a movie, but an anonymous audience member at one viewing of a movie, "Lose the shoes lady."

When confronted with a frustratingly badly designed mechanism, I tend to fall back on, "You mean, you can recall it, like a defective pinto."

In the car, "Four lefts is a circle, you idiot."

If someone asks how much I want of something, I may respond, "Not a whole lot, just a little lot with nothing on it."

When asked to do something that I should have no problem doing, but for some reason am unwilling to do, I lower my voice into almost subsonic levels, and rumble, "We are the United States Government, we do not do that sort of thing."

From The Scottish Movie comes, "I told you it was my island."

At the dinner table, "It's got scallions."

For when you're in a tight spot, the simple answer is: "We're in a tight spot," but if you have a companion who you want to scare a little, try, "The lord says he can get me out of this one... but he's pretty sure, you're fucked."

Other movie quotes have managed to stick in the vernacular without actually having a discernible meaning. Prime among these is the highly dubious, "I'm your Huckleberry" and "Don't eat the penis. It's just garnish..." you'd be surprised how often that one gets used.

Finally, there's the always useful, "We didn't do that, did we?"

Please leave a comment with a movie quote that you use in everyday conversation or one that I do, but forgot to include!